Not Meant To Be
The other day, I received an email about someone trying to subscribe to the Jonah Life Institute International Newsletter. They had difficulty copying the characters from the box on the subscription page, in order to subscribe. This box is called CAPTCHA. CAPTCHA is a program that protects websites against “bots” by generating and grading tests that humans can pass, but current computer programs cannot. If not for this, other computers could attempt to crash our site with spam. Most if not all-legitimate sites use CAPTCHA to be placed on a mailing list. The person was not able to copy the characters so they gave up; stating “not meant to be”. The letter arrived at the perfect time, as I was in the middle of writing my next blog titled, “Not Meant To Be”.
Over the years I have heard people say, “not meant to be”. Just what does that mean? What does it mean to you?
Some time ago I was counseling a young man of eighteen named Allen. He had a deep fear of graduating from high school and then attending college. He was very popular in his school, had many friends who looked up to him, but his fear would not allow him to move forward. What if I fail, what if I do not make new friends? He had a list of fears longer than his mother’s shopping list.
After describing his list of fears he said to me, “Maybe it is just not meant to be.”
I asked Allen, “What does that mean to you?”
Allen sat back, thought for a moment and said, “Maybe I have all these fears because the universe does not want me to go to college. Maybe this is how the universe is talking to me, giving me all these fears.”
I told Allen, “I think you have been fed a long line of BS. I think you accepted this line of BS because it satisfies your fears.”
His mouth fell open, as he began to stammer his words describing how his mother always told him the universe provides us with difficulties to prevent us from going in a particular direction. “Sometimes some things are just not meant to be,” he continued.
“Allen, what does the word “universe” mean to you? The universe is a very big place, so how are you using that word?” I asked.
He thought for a few minutes and said, “I don’t know, maybe God, maybe angels, I guess whoever controls the “universe.”
“So, do you believe that whoever controls the universe uses fear to stop you from achieving something you actually desire? Does God use fear; do angels use fear to control the outcome?”
“I don’t know,” Allen replied.
“Allen, what if God, angels, guides, or any number of beings that are filled with love and compassion actually support you in going to college? What if they had nothing to do with your fear?”
I asked Allen, “Have you ever searched the proper usage of fear?”
“Usage of fear?” he replied.
“Yes, there are two types of fear, rational fear and irrational fear. Another way to look at it is distinguishing reality from fantasy. Let’s designate a rational fear as reality and irrational fear as fantasy.
What if you were walking out in nature, say out in the rocks of the desert? All of a sudden you hear the sound of a rattlesnake, not one but several rattlesnakes surrounding you. You would feel fear gripping you as you stood there. This could be called a reality fear. Now, what if you were walking across your living room at home and you became gripped with fear that rattlesnakes were surrounding you? Label this a fantasy fear. Both fears can feel very real. How do you tell the difference?
First let me describe what occurs when you encounter a sudden fear, as with the rattlesnakes. Your brain goes into survival mode. The thalamus makes a decision on where to send sensory data, the sensory cortex will interpret this data, the hippocampus will store and revive any and all conscious memories of past sudden fears. The amygdala will determine any possible threat, but it also stores all of your fear memories. Then the hypothalamus will make a choice to respond or not respond, usually based on the past memories. Now all of this occurs in a split second and your body will respond accordingly. Your heart rate and blood pressure will increase giving you a sudden burst of energy. Your pupils will dilate, changing your vision. Your veins will constrict to send more of your blood to your muscles, and your blood-glucose level will increase. Your muscles will tense up from the sudden release of adrenaline. Your immune system will shut down allowing energy to flow to the parts of the body needed to survive the danger. This I will call reality fear.
Now what happens if you are in your living room and you become gripped with fear of being surrounded by rattlesnakes? The same thing occurs, including your immune system shutting down. Remember, you will have recorded the past fear in your brain. If it is not properly processed, it keeps replaying over and over. The end result is a worn out, confused immune system. Your immune system begins attacking healthy cells in your body. We now call it autoimmune disease.
What if your fear of going to college came from your genes, your past relatives? Perhaps the coding of fear in your genes was appropriate a hundred or more years ago, but it is no longer appropriate. What if you give in to the fear and end up creating an autoimmune disease? What if your brain is simply shutting down the immune system for survival of an imminent threat, which your brain believes is college?
You would know there are no rattlesnakes in your living room, that is a fantasy fear, but the fear has the same response as a reality fear. The difference is the fantasy fear continues to replay itself over and over. You begin to believe it is real.
What if what you call the universe is actually choices made by your ancestors and is coded in your genes? What if you could make a choice to confront these fears, go to college, and best of all stop the progression of this fear to your future children?”
Allen thought for a few minutes and then asked, “Are you saying my fears are not coming from the universe?”
“In a way yes. I am telling you, you have the power to change. You have the power to make your life a joyful disease free life. You have the power to not pass on these fears to your future children.”
“You can look at it this way, you are the universe.”
Many of these topics, will be taught by Jonah at the May Jonah Life Institute Intensive seminar titled, “Are You Who You Think You Are?”